Here's a story about a boy named Jerry,
Got slaughtered and got real lerry,
In the pub he acted absurd,
And he came onto a boxer's bird,
So he got knocked out,
Face swelled up like a rainbow trout!
His girl found out the truth,
But he couldn't explain cause he'd lost a tooth!
I wanna drink, drink, drink, smoke, fuck, fight,
I wanna shout and scream, I wanna die.
I wanna be arrested,
I wanna be molested.
Oh, I've damaged my brain,
next weekend, let's do it again!
An anecdote about a man named Clive,
Wasn't one to usually drink drive.
And after all he'd been for a snack,
And so it was a bit far to walk back.
A month later and he's sitting in court,
For the two lives he cut short.
Man slaughter he's convicted,
For the pain that he's inflicted.
Spinning, my head is spinning, up around around!
Down to the pub,
Up to the club!
My stomach's turning, oh my body's burning!
Our liquid lives,
This is how we all survive!
Here's a story about a chap named Gaff,
Drank 4 pints in hour and a half,
Although the night had just begun,
Cause the local pub was open till one!
The next morning out in the country,
Hung over and on the hunt he,
Was too drunk and he risked himself,
FELL OFF HIS HORSE AND SHOT HIMSELF!
Spinning, my head is spinning, up around around!
Down to the pub,
Up to the club!
My stomach's turning, oh my body's burning!
Our liquid lives,
This is how we all survive!
Here's a story about a girl named Kate,
Got wasted and got date raped.
When they told the doctors she'd sued,
They found that no chemicals were in her bloodstream.
Well, nothing malicious, but the alcohol levels were quite suspicious!
When asked who had hurt her,
Poor old Kate couldn't remember!
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