102 replies to this topic

[harry_kinomoto]

peregrin, on 14 April 2011 - 11:06 PM, said:

Mmmm, 'cause physiological differences = more work for the male and thus why we celebrate male promiscuity.

The physical component definitely does exist. Neuroendocrinology is obsessed with trying to document gender differences in brains, and finding which hormones are responsible for it.

For one, guys are definitely more biologically primed for sex. Testosterone (sex hormone in much higher levels in males) has been largely held responsible. Here's a recent review: http://www.ncbi.nlm....pubmed/21334362
In fact, some even believe testosterone has a direct link with aggresssive behaviours, and its not a big jump to suggest that the mre aggressive people are the ones who will be more, well...outspoken about their biological urges: http://www.ncbi.nlm....pubmed/21075538

As to the ladies, well, data does also suggest that the female brain is less geared towards "aggressive" sexual behaviour, and more selective mating. Baron-Cohen suggests females are more geared towards picking up subtle social cues than males, meaning they can more effectively assess the suitability of a mate than males can from mere social interaction.

What does this all mean? It means there definitely IS a biological explanation for increased promiscuity in males, but whether or not this has direct relevance on why society welcomes it requires extra consideration. Certainly, just because girls are predisposed to be more selective about their mating partners doesn't really explain why society don't saction such behaviour either, especially when a proportion of society is made up of horny males who might think they'd "benefit" if things went the other way round!

I'm pleased to see everyone is adamant on the social explanation though. I think its about a 70-30 nurture-nature split here. The role of inborn biology definitely is not as insignificant as everyone seems to think, but its definitely not set in stone either. Indeed, the abovementioned male characterisitcs changes were found to be inducible in females in certain environments, for example in the context of stress!

[Punky]

I still don't think it gives people the right to call sexually active wimminz whores :<

Also, I don't think certain guys should get praised for banging a different chick each week. No physiological differences can justify that.

[harry_kinomoto]

RailGunner, on 15 April 2011 - 12:53 AM, said:

I still don't think it gives people the right to call sexually active wimminz whores :<

Also, I don't think certain guys should get praised for banging a different chick each week. No physiological differences can justify that.

100% agreement here. Trying to justify your behaviour with some physiological mechanism? You might as well just lie down on the floor and never get up, giving the excuse that gravity is holding you back. >.>

Like you guys said, its a largely sociological phenomenon. But it is in such instances that I consider myself proud to be apart from the sheep that makes up the rest of mankind lol!!

[zjhentohlauedy]

sleeping around loosely still makes you a whore D:

man or woman D:

[barasia]

this should have been a POLL.
Virgin?
>/y?
>/N?


being a virgin myself, i have a few questions.

1. before having sex, would you demand a medical report from your partner for proof that they are free of STDs?
despite being common sense, its kinda awkward to say this right before lovemaking, "i really like/love you, but can i see your medical report to show that you don't have AIDS?"
its a complete bone killer and spoils romantic moods. but neccessary.....
of course you could ask that before even attemping to have sex, theres a time for that. but i'm afraid that question may make me look like a paranoid. even if im a virgin lol.

2. for those who are NOT virgins, which is better? and why? no condoms(assuming no stds), or coming inside?

[peregrin]

harry_kinomoto, on 15 April 2011 - 12:51 AM, said:

The physical component definitely does exist. Neuroendocrinology is obsessed with trying to document gender differences in brains, and finding which hormones are responsible for it.

For one, guys are definitely more biologically primed for sex. Testosterone (sex hormone in much higher levels in males) has been largely held responsible. Here's a recent review: http://www.ncbi.nlm....pubmed/21334362

That abstract is godly. Holy shit.

Point made, point taken. I'm sorry for being an asshat.

I still think, though, that the rewards system amongst men for sleeping with women *does* have a societal component, but this may have more to do with the degree to which they celebrate and the ways in which they choose to celebrate.

[zetsuei]

well, if you're 20-ish, its not too much a big of a deal, but when you're 26+ like me, you'll start to wonder..

[KNC]

In my opinion people constantly sleeping around with everyone they find are whores, male or female. If there's no bond there's just no meaning to it. As long as there is a real bond though I think it's fine, even if you have more than one partner.

barasia, on 15 April 2011 - 04:09 AM, said:

being a virgin myself, i have a few questions.

1. before having sex, would you demand a medical report from your partner for proof that they are free of STDs?
despite being common sense, its kinda awkward to say this right before lovemaking, "i really like/love you, but can i see your medical report to show that you don't have AIDS?"
its a complete bone killer and spoils romantic moods. but neccessary.....
of course you could ask that before even attemping to have sex, theres a time for that. but i'm afraid that question may make me look like a paranoid. even if im a virgin lol.

2. for those who are NOT virgins, which is better? and why? no condoms(assuming no stds), or coming inside?

As I'm not a virgin anymore I think I can answer your questions.

1. Well asking doesn't hurt, even if it looks a bit paranoid. If she loves you she will understand the question, probably she wants to be assured herself as well. It's best to take it slowly and ask this when an intimate encounter gets more likely but isn't sure yet.

2. We had been using condoms for some months to prevent pregnancy before she started taking the pill, screaming and annoying childs are an option for neither me nor my girlfriend. It wasn't a thing about stds because well, if you know someone for 7 years you kinda trust them without report.

Condoms do decrease the feeling somewhat, that beeing said while I always used the extra thin versions (usually called sensitive). People who say it doesn't make a difference are probably not felling much anyway or having some weird luck I didn't have. Condoms were always annoying for me and in my case the normal size was pretty tight, as in barely acceptable. Also without condom a shower is sufficent for cleaning instead of beeing forced to always get rid of the condom. And your girlfriend will most likely feel a lot better without condom as well, exceptions possible though. Heard of people still prefering condoms.
Probably start with condoms and if you know your relationship will be lasting a bit longer I think it's better to switch over to the pill or something else instead of using condoms.

Also condoms are really annoying while using toys.

[Punky]

Kogzilla, on 16 April 2011 - 12:30 AM, said:

Women who legitimately enjoy sex aren't whores. They have every right to enjoy it as a man does.

Hope this helps.



this isn't always the case. the female friends I had in high school and college would stray far away from men who've been known to have a lot of girlfriends or flings. my male friends also pretty much noted how much they detested having heard how much 'x' guy has had 'x' amount of sex. Most of us were like: "your first time? sweet, cool, congratulations." Fifth one this week? "Holy shit don't touch me".

Well, nice to know there's still some hope for humanity.

[zjhentohlauedy]

RailGunner, on 16 April 2011 - 01:05 AM, said:

Well, nice to know there's still some hope for humanity.

most are pretty much like that. the popular people are kinda like the ones who aren't =/

[KNC]

Kogzilla, on 16 April 2011 - 12:30 AM, said:

this isn't always the case. the female friends I had in high school and college would stray far away from men who've been known to have a lot of girlfriends or flings. my male friends also pretty much noted how much they detested having heard how much 'x' guy has had 'x' amount of sex. Most of us were like: "your first time? sweet, cool, congratulations." Fifth one this week? "Holy shit don't touch me".

Totally agreed. I'd just wish I wouldn't be the only one with that viewpoint were I live.

[rena]

barasia, on 15 April 2011 - 04:09 AM, said:

2. for those who are NOT virgins, which is better? and why? no condoms(assuming no stds), or coming inside?

answering this question since the first one got answered well already.

as a female, having no condom was really scary for me, but I only ever did it that way. I lost my virginity to my ex which i have not had sex with anyone else since. we were meant to use the condom (i was also on the pill) since pregnancy and STDs are such a shit scary thing for me, and for most girls who have common sense. when it came to virginity loss, mid way through, my ex said "o shit im sorry, i forgot to use a condom, should i put one on now?" being the push over that i am, i kinda just agreed to anything he wanted, therefore i said "its ok, we already began without now" and he clearly ignored the terror in my eyes.
at first, he would pull out before cuming - which yes was pointless but he still did it as an act of "caring" if thats how you want to put it. he was also so kind as to clean up his semen, and also to clean me up when i bled all over the fucking bedroom like id been shot. but after a while, his care meter must have gotten alot less because he started to not pull out and cum inside of me and not clean me up and i felt like i was just someone to get his dick wet, then. it felt horrible. i felt uncared for. i recommend you use a condom unless she agrees otherwise and not pull out some bs excuse that "you forgot" - you want to make her feel cared for.
however with the discussion of sluts floating around, i advice you to avoid them cus the scenario would prolly be a lot different.

[Greator]

Wow, I'm glad the girls are joining in too. Thanks.

Question for boys, Do you like a "gate keeper" or "free pass"?

Question for girls, If you are 15 and you have a boyfriend, would you want to do "it"? (Just an example, no pedophile topic here) Even though you know your relationship will not last long? Does that means you rather sacrifice your virginity just for pleasure of sex? Wait, this applies to both boys and girls, and a stupid question too.

[Punky]

Greator, on 16 April 2011 - 05:27 PM, said:

Question for girls, If you are 15 and you have a boyfriend, would you want to do "it"? (Just an example, no pedophile topic here) Even though you know your relationship will not last long? Does that means you rather sacrifice your virginity just for pleasure of sex? Wait, this applies to both boys and girls, and a stupid question too.

For me, probably not. Girls don't usually get congratulated for losing their virginity and depending on where they live can even be seen as sluts for it, especially at that age. Also there's risks involved even if a condom is used, so if I know the guy isn't committed, I won't waste my time with him. Just doesn't seem worth it imo

[Pitamac]

Greator, on 16 April 2011 - 05:27 PM, said:

Question for boys, Do you like a "gate keeper" or "free pass"?

I don't think I understand your question correctly?
If you mean; would you like to have sex with a girl who's easy (free pass?), or one who will let you wait/work for it (gate keeper), I'd say the latter.

The relationship with my previous girlfriend lasted about 10 months, the first time we had sex was 7 months into it. All the while teasing me about it.
"Look at this, do you see it? Good. You'll won't be touching it in a lifetime, better get used to it"
me: "B'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" Q_Q
This went on for about 6 months, after which we started pleasuring each other through oral sex.
When I fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally did have sex (penetration) with her, it was great, as in, the best thing ever. The other two girls I had sex with were "free passes", nothing memorable really happened with them. :|

so yeah.

@Rena: You should've punched him the first time he pulled that, seriously.

EDIT: Poll answers are confusing bro.

[JonnyThatJonny]

Men are pressured into losing their virginity, although I never gave a crap about that kind of judgement. Everyone takes their time and lives life their own way. When I was a virgin I had the chance to get laid a couple of times as one night stands and I always ended up backing off. Didn't actually reffuse, I just ended up with a way of getting away without it turning embarassing, both were girls who had little more interest in me than physical.
So I just ended up doing it the first time when I had a girlfriend the way I wished it to be, both of us were virgins and the whole experience of trusting each other more and more and discovering each other was great. I had doubts if I had done right not having sex back then but I ended up glad it was that way.

edit: oh and I'm not saying people who enjoy one night stands are better or worse than people who only make love after marriage. Like I said, everyone has their ways of living and I don't see wrong with it as long as no one is being tricked into it.

[KNC]

rena, on 16 April 2011 - 01:53 PM, said:

answering this question since the first one got answered well already.

as a female, having no condom was really scary for me, but I only ever did it that way. I lost my virginity to my ex which i have not had sex with anyone else since. we were meant to use the condom (i was also on the pill) since pregnancy and STDs are such a shit scary thing for me, and for most girls who have common sense. when it came to virginity loss, mid way through, my ex said "o shit im sorry, i forgot to use a condom, should i put one on now?" being the push over that i am, i kinda just agreed to anything he wanted, therefore i said "its ok, we already began without now" and he clearly ignored the terror in my eyes.
at first, he would pull out before cuming - which yes was pointless but he still did it as an act of "caring" if thats how you want to put it. he was also so kind as to clean up his semen, and also to clean me up when i bled all over the fucking bedroom like id been shot. but after a while, his care meter must have gotten alot less because he started to not pull out and cum inside of me and not clean me up and i felt like i was just someone to get his dick wet, then. it felt horrible. i felt uncared for. i recommend you use a condom unless she agrees otherwise and not pull out some bs excuse that "you forgot" - you want to make her feel cared for.
however with the discussion of sluts floating around, i advice you to avoid them cus the scenario would prolly be a lot different.

Err... are you female or male now? I mean you clearly say you are female but under your ava there is [Gender: Male]... Well I'll take your post for true now.

I'll make a small addition to question 2.
Just like I said it varies. So in case of doubt always make sure how your female counterpart feels about it. Also it's shit if people prevent to care. It would help if those uncaring people would keep their hands away from other people who do need a bit of care. I as male would also feel bad if my gf wouldn't care for me, and I'm sure it's worse for some girls than it is for me.

[Grilleds]

RailGunner, on 14 April 2011 - 12:31 AM, said:

Why is it that when guys score it's celebrated but when girls get laid they're whores?

Because its harder for a guy to have sex than for a girl to have sex. Much harder. There have actually been studies that have proven that a guy is more likely to accept an offer for sex than a girl is. This has absolutely nothing to do with how men and women were viewed hundreds of years ago. If anything, this is actually a reversal of how things were in ancient Greek society, where men were rather prudish at least when it came to having sex with women, and women were rather lustful. Then again, it might have something to do with the fact that ancient Greek society was so gay that many ancient Greeks just viewed women as a way to make more men. It was a little more complicated in Sparta since women in their society had quite a bit more power.

I don't really see how discussions on double standards are heavily related, so can we stay on topic? Actually, I think I am going to run from this topic now. I dislike virgin sextalk and I find discussions on double standards to end up being fairly heated.

[Punky]

Grilleds, on 16 April 2011 - 09:30 PM, said:

Because its harder for a guy to have sex than for a girl to have sex. Much harder. There have actually been studies that have proven that a guy is more likely to accept an offer for sex than a girl is. This has absolutely nothing to do with how men and women were viewed hundreds of years ago. If anything, this is actually a reversal of how things were in ancient Greek society, where men were rather prudish at least when it came to having sex with women, and women were rather lustful. Then again, it might have something to do with the fact that ancient Greek society was so gay that many ancient Greeks just viewed women as a way to make more men. It was a little more complicated in Sparta since women in their society had quite a bit more power.

I don't really see how discussions on double standards are heavily related, so can we stay on topic? Actually, I think I am going to run from this topic now. I dislike virgin sextalk and I find discussions on double standards to end up being fairly heated.

We already got back on topic. Late Grilleds is late.

[rena]

KNC, on 16 April 2011 - 08:20 PM, said:

Err... are you female or male now? I mean you clearly say you are female but under your ava there is [Gender: Male]... Well I'll take your post for true now.

I'll make a small addition to question 2.
Just like I said it varies. So in case of doubt always make sure how your female counterpart feels about it. Also it's shit if people prevent to care. It would help if those uncaring people would keep their hands away from other people who do need a bit of care. I as male would also feel bad if my gf wouldn't care for me, and I'm sure it's worse for some girls than it is for me.

female.
i have male written cus stating im female on a forum such as doujinstyle means im an attention whore.
therefore, this post is attention whoring (:.

i think caring is a big part of a genuine relationship, without it the one being uncared for is just being used or you are fuckbuddies, imo